Actually, I think all addiction starts with soda.
Every junkie did soda first. But no one counts that. Maybe they should. The soda
connection is clear. Why isn't a presidential commission looking into this? Or at least
some guys from the National Carbonation Council. We were so poor my daddy unplugged the
clocks when we went to bed.
Charlie Brown is the one person I
identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn't even the star of his own Halloween special.
I think doctors make too
much money, you know why? Because they don't cure anything. Everything they cured, they
cured 50 years ago. They ain't cured anything in a long time, man, you know, diseases are
piling up, man, we've cancer, sicacell, and Geri's Kids still limping around. Come on,
Man, get rid of something. (From "Saturday Night Live")
Only thing I
know about Africa is that it's far far away. A 35 hour flight. Imagine the boat ride. The
boat ride is so long that there's still slaves on their way here!
Aw, man, they gave 'em the Oscar
on stage. Next they're gonna give the Oscars in the parking lot. It'll be like a
drive-through Oscar lane. You get an Oscar and a McFlurry and keep on moving.
Gay people got a right to be as
miserable as everybody else.
I love music. Music is the
soundtrack to the crappy movie that is my life.
Why do
people do yoga? To clear their minds? I embrace the clutter in my head.
- Everything is
here from the gutsy, really funny Chris Rock.